Oracle Components Part Search

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- What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

- A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...

- Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

- What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

- Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

- What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

- Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

- There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.

- Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.

- A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"

- Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

- Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

- Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath

- Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "Wow it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"

- Know why a room full of married people looks so empty?
There's not a Single person in it...

- Why do eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?
Because it's too cold "out tide!"

- What do you call a boom-a-rang, that dosen't come back?
Answer: A Stick!!!!

- Why did the stoplight turn red?
Wouldn't you if you had to change in the middle of the street??

- What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

- Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic schizophrenic?
He was in two minds as to whether there's a dog!

- Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

- Did you hear about hte new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes foreward incase the enemy attacks from behind.

- Where does the one legged waitress work?
The Ihop

- What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Damn

- A blonde walked into a bar
OUCHH!!!

- A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please"
The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"

- A mushroom walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please"
The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"
The mushroom says "Why not I'm a Fungi!"

- A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him. "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."

"I know," said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."

- A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, "Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."

"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.

"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000," replied the doctor.

Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood.

But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"

"Standard pricing practice," said the doctor.

"Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used."

 - A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts across the room at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?'"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."